I’m the follower of many fitness groups on the Book of Faces. I also search a lot of fitness related terms, nutrition, and “healthy” recipes. In turn, this leads to a shit-ton of targeted ads. This makes sense…sort of. I haven’t gotten any ads for anything that was actually healthy like joining a gym or nutrition information. Instead I get ads for supplements (I use that word loosely). They promise an outrageous amount of results in no time at all. You and I both know that this is bullshit. However, let me share with you what some of them actually do…

The first drug suggested was to be taken when you have a meal containing fat. It works to make it so that your body doesn’t absorb the fat while it’s being digested. My dudes – let me be very clear – what goes in must come out. Wouldn’t it be great if it was packaged nicely in delivered outside of your body? Is that the case? Absolutely not. It leaks out of your body sometimes (the most common side effect is oily spotting on your underwear), makes you sound like a tractor pull while you’re walking around farting everywhere, and makes it so that you have a harder time absorbing fat soluble vitamins. You’ll poop more, and if you’re lucky, that tractor pull was just the engine starting and not a sneaky shart. Other listed side effects include possibly crapping your pants, vomiting, liver failure, rectal pain, problems with your teeth or gums, and nerve damage.

Option two wasn’t much better – a pill that you take and drink a ton of water with that expands in your stomach to make you feel fuller. You have to take it 20 minutes before you eat and drink at least a 1/2 liter of water with it. Can you imagine what would happen if our teenage girls got a hold of this? Seems like anorexia’s best friend.

Lastly, there’s just flat out speed. Of course you’re going to lose weight if you never eat. At what point does the legal speed stop working and you move on to cocaine or meth? Hey, at least your house will be clean.

Every day people get these things shoved in their faces. Every. Single. Person. Why feel good about yourself or make healthy choices when you can just take a magic pill? Inevitably, these people will end up right back where they were when they started and continue the unhealthy cycle.

So, the next time your coworker smells like shit, it may be actual shit. Be kind.