Picture this : a dude sits on a weight bench with a 10 pound dumbbell doing bicep curls. A chick walks up to the bench next to him with a 20 pound dumbbell. The following conversation ensues :

Dude : Hey, you want a spotter for that?

Chick : For 20 pounds?

Dude : Well, I don’t want you to hurt yourself. You don’t look like you lift and that’s a lot of weight for someone who is weaker.

Chick : Are you being serious?

Dude : Well, yeah, I’m just looking out for you. (Dude proceeds to walk over and try to grab said weight and replace it with his 10 pounds.) Try this one instead.

Chick : No, I’m good. My penis must be bigger than yours because I can curl more than 10 pounds. Thanks, though. (Chick proceeds to curl the shit out of that dumbbell.)

THAT. That hurts where it shouldn’t. Of course, the look I received after that conversation was so fulfilling but why are people so judgmental? I realize that I’m a fat ass, but that doesn’t mean that I’m a weak fat ass.

“….and does it burn where it should?”

I love my trainer, but are you shitting me right now? We are taught from a very young age that burning is bad. When something had the potential to burn us our parents generally yelled and scared the crap out of us in an effort to make us terrified of putting our hands where they didn’t belong. When it was summer and we were stupid idiots who didn’t use sunscreen, the burn obtained was miserable and we would spend days trying to make it go away. When we use the word burn as a metaphor it’s never in a good way. Hot, smoking, on fire…yes. Burn…no.

But, I totally get what she means. And I love her for it. I never thought I’d be the type of person to say “oh, yeah, my personal trainer said…” in conversation. It’s pretentious. Now I would recommend a trainer to anyone who wants a good kick in the ass when they’re starting their work outs. My trainer, who I’ll call L, is supportive and pushes me to work harder. She makes sure I “burn where it should”…and doesn’t care when I curl more than her.